So, as conference season gets into full swing, so does kidnapping. Two of our beloved team were kidnapped at the LFS Conveyancing Awards 2015. We have already received details of one of the dogs, who is shacked up with Heather Cameron Editor of Today's Convenyancer. However, the second one seems to a bit of a mystery. I received this email early last week below. Whoever has "Middle" have gone to a lot of effort, as Middle now has his own Twitter and email account. You can follow his adventures @Orangedog2015.
I must say their Photoshop efforts have a left a lot to be desired! We might need to call in the experts from Channel 4's 'Hunted'. Any information leading to the return of Middle will be greatly rewarded.
This is the hardest email I've ever had to write. Admittedly this is partly because my paws are 4 inches across but emotionally it's hard too.
You see I've met someone else.
All these years of throwing me into the back of the car have finally taken their toll on our relationship Rich. Would it have killed you to let me sit up front once in a while? I get trotted out (or should that be "pimped out") at each show and thrown back in the car afterwards with Big and Little (yes we all have names) without so much as a 'by your leave'.
Even when I'm at the shows, earning good money for you and the big Gilroy, you never pay me any attention - you just dump me and forget about me. At least David used to take me to nightclubs. At the one this week you even dumped me on someone else's stand and just forgot about me. Well Rich ,a dog can only take so much, so I went into the stand to do a bit of thinking.
After I was sat there for a while, just thinking this beautiful woman came up to me. "Hey handsome" she said, "what's a beautiful thing like you doing in a place like this?" and "nice tail by the way". I ignored the sexual innuendo and after a while we got to talking.
She actually listened to me Rich!
She said she would NEVER throw someone like me in the boot of the car after a long day at the shows. Her name is Sophie and she's got the kindest eyes you've ever seen.
Well we went out for a drink (bet you never missed me at the dinner did you - too busy having sh*ts and giggles with Big and Little weren't you) and one thing lead to another and before you know it I was on a plane to Acapulco.
Here we are this afternoon on the beach
That could have been you Rich, if only you'd paid me a bit of attention from time to time.
I hope you're happy with Big and Little - you've only got yourself to blame
I really feel I can create a new life with Sophie - tomorrow we're playing crazy golf and getting braids in our hair and later on we're going to do shots until it comes out of our noses
All the best
p.s. I hope we can still be friends